We get on the road about ten with about 320 miles of road ahead of us, not bad if you think about it, 320 miles, divided by 80 miles an hour, it should take us about 4 hours to get to West Yellowstone. Things always seem so simple when you look at it from the outside but with our luck it did not turn out quite exactly as we planned. About 250 miles in, Bricks decided we should stop at Wal-Mart so he can pi
ck up some shirts, so we pulled into the parking lot and got out to check out the local redneck Wal-Mart armed with the information from our AAA guide that this area is loaded with skinheads. So with our fake Christian names decided on and baseball caps on our head we went in to check it out. Bricks got a couple of shirts and a cap with a handy bottle opener attached and Berko got himself a Ford automobile hat which looked great with his Orlando Bloom facial hair. As we walked out the door, we got a smile and a have a great day from the store greeter who was missing a lot of teeth. I guess teeth are not a qualification for a store greeter, who knew? Back on the road, Bricks taking over the wheel and I decided to take a nap in the passenger seat. A little while later I heard Berko in the back asking me to pass the map from the glove compartment to see where we are but I didn’t answer cuz I was to lazy and Bricks helped me out by saying I was asleep which I was sort of. Little did I know how much that act of laziness would cost us. About an hour later I picked my head up and asked where we were.
Bricks: We are on the 15 we should be there soon
Berko: Abe pass me the map
Berko checks out the map.
Berko: we were supposed to get off to switch to the 20 about 60 miles back
Me: are you @#!%$& kidding me! ( kicking myself inside that I should of passed the map earlier on but not wanting to take the blame)
Arguing ensues, a little language, then we pull over at a gas station to see where we went wrong. We find out that we drove way out of the way and
we have to go back about an hour’s drive to get back the right way. It’s now 2pm and we should’ve be at Yellowstone already but our detour pushed back our arrival time to about 5pm. 34 hours since our trip began and we haven’t done a thing. About 5:15 we finally arrive and pull into the visitors center. After speaking to the guide, we find out that our hotel is a 2 ½ hour drive from the park.
So not happening.
I call up to cancel and told them that our flight got delayed and we got rerouted to D.C and we are not going to make it for the night. This was only partially true but there was no way in hell I was sitting another 2 ½ hours in the car. I checked out some brochures there, and booked a room at a private cabin
15 minutes from the park for 160 bucks. Alright, with that out of the way time to finally do some stuff. We headed over to see some geysers in the park and to lighten our dejected moods we shot some funny videos. We then headed over to Old Faithful, which is a huge geyser that erupts about every hour. You can take some good pictures there if you position yourself correctly and make it look like the smoke and water is coming out of various body orifices. We definitely gave the people there something to look at as they all stopped to watch and laugh at what we were doing.
Berko takes the helm:
After finally seeing some sights we headed back to the cabin Abe booked which was an adventure all unto itself. The lady from the cabin told us on the phone that they weren’t going to be there when we get there so we should drive up to cabin #1 they will leave the door open. The turnoff to the cabin was on an unpaved bumpy side road with no lights and forest all around us. As the road behind slowly faded into the distance panic slowly ensued. We were at a crawl for fear of busting a tire or even worse; two. There’s something unsettling about driving down a
dark Montana forest road at a snail’s pace. I think the soundtrack to every horror movie was playing in our heads in rhythm with the car’s rumble. I don’t think I was the only one anticipating some crazy-eyed rifle wielding hunter defending his territory, or at least an angry bear. I think I heard the words Blair Witch thrown around and I’m pretty sure we were all seeing in night vision. Our eyes were peeled as we cautiously traversed this seemingly uncharted territory. When we finally found the grounds it was not at all what we expected. It felt like the Catskill bungalow
colonies of our youth but it still had an air of imminent danger. Bricks pulled the car in near the lake and a Chinese lady approached with a flashlight. She told us to turn around and she’d guide us to the cabin, unfortunately the car was in a tight spot and the U-turn wasn’t simple. Tension was already pretty high in the car so this seemingly simple exercise took on a whole new dimension. Between the lake on one side, Abe directing on the other, The Chinese lady blinding us with her flashlight behind and the Huge Christmas tree (and I mean huge) distracting Bricks, our evening had reached a bizarre climax. We were definitely in a weird place.
The cabin was quaint, it was log,
There was a loft with a ladder. The first thing we did was tell ghost stories upstairs. We cooked burgers and Polish sausage and drank Stella Artois. Heshy and I did some stargazing outside. I've never seen so many stars in my life. All in all rough day but once we got to Yellowstone it was very rewarding.
Oh Abe missed a tale.We met Some guy while pumping gas somewhere in Idaho. He was definitely ex military and he reminded us of Blue from Old School. He had one eye and drove a 1966 Chrysler New Yorker but he could not be from anywhere east of the Mississippi. He pulled into the spot next to us as our car door was open. He then proceeded to tell us that he was deciding whether or not to take our door off. We kindly thanked him for making the right decision in our eyes and he expressed that he wasn't sure that he had.
You just don't meet these folks in New York.
Next up: Day 3, a solid day
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